Credentials
In addition to marrying a woman who is almost perfect looking, I am a BRILLIANT Bible scholar. I’ve read nearly an entire book by Dr. Mr. Walter Martin explaining how everyone other than himself is probably in a cult. I’m familiar with derogatory terms such as Romanist, Papist, and Spirit of Rome. I’ve developed arguments for circular reasoning and have studied the art of defining myself by what I hate. I’ve watched John MacArthur appear on Larry King Live and have watched portions of The Davinci Code. I keep Christ in Christmas and put both pant legs on at the same time.
My Tear-Jerking Testimony
I grew up in an upper class neighborhood in the suburbs; nobody gave me a chance. My mother was a homemaker and forced me to eat foods I detested. I rarely spent any holidays at home; I was stranded on islands over most Christmases, Easters, and summer vacations. My parents didn’t want me around, so they promised to pay for any education I wanted. I could take a hint, so I left home and lived a lifestyle as a student for far too long, barely surviving on a meager allowance of only a thousand dollars per week. I was homeless for a long time, because I chose to rent. I became an adult and I never had a job. I refused to work for another person, so I depended on handouts from customers that I cultivated by building companies. Then I realized that the words, “relationship with Jesus Christ” aren’t even in the Bible. But the words, “knowledge of Christ” are in the Bible–and that they were written by Peter, the first pope.
Your sense of humor is a GIFT- we need much more of it in our Church. Thank you!!!
Thanks, Rose!
Is that really your wife?
Yes.
I just found your blog, and then fell in love. Pretty much at the same time.
So bvogt1, does this mean you actually (and coincidentally) fell in love with your wife simultaneously with the finding of this blog??? Or that you actually fell in love with the blog itself(which is an inanimate non-personal object run by a Czarish “person” somewhere in cyberspace or so we think anyway). Just wondering. It happened to me too. The second part not the first.
You literally just made me laugh out loud with your introduction of yourself and when I went to click ‘You Will Submit Now’. Looking forward to reading more.
Jen,
Thanks for stopping by!
Very fun. I will enjoy reading around here!
I didn’t know another Catholic guy out there could beat me in SILLYING! Great stuff here I shall be promoting your blogs from now on at my page on Facebook Catholic Apologetics Guide 101 http://facebook.com/cceerpp and also at my Twitter and other pages.
Nice to meet you man. We could fool together sometimes.
Yahooooooooooooooo!
Wow, you make me want to ACTUALLY BE on Facebook/Twitter. Thanks, Gadel.
You’re welcome. What! Are you in the desert or a cottage with NO INTERNET! NO FACEBOOK OR TWITTER? You must be JOKING Pal
Do checkout my blog sidebar at http://www.catholicfiction.cc.cc/ I have a surprise for you. Thank you.
Gadel, nice pic you have on that sidebar! Thanks.
Thanks
Just wanted to thank you for a humorous, yet realistic blog. Being a brand new convert to Catholicism from a Protestant background, much of this seems to describe me not too long ago! Thanks for helping me laugh at my old self and bringing some awesome satire into my new faith! It’s really helped me become stronger in defending and maintaining what I’ve come to know as truth.
Thank you, Betloo26. Prayers for your mom.
try to be more of a bigot.
It is amazing how spot on this definition is:bigot noun
chauvinist, partisan, sectarian; racist, sexist, homophobe, dogmatist, jingoist.
Dad? Is that you?
Glad I surfed in! I’ll be reading this website much more in the near future. Best regards.
Dave,
Thanks for catching that wave. Have a good Christmas!
Well, I just found your site, and after only 20 minutes of reading around, I know all I need to about you. You’re just another one of those ultra-traditional, protestant-bashing, pre-Vatican 2 “catholics” who forgot what JESUS said about loving thy neighbor……. And that’s why I LOVE this site!! Seriously, it rocks! Keep up the good work, Pat. Can I call you Pat? Great, thanks!
Tom,
Thanks, and you can call me Pat. I’m glad I’m amusing someone other than myself!
Well this site certainly both amusing and informative, Dear Leader. When you die, I promise to weep and mourn like those North Koreans.
Yes, Tom. That’s all I expect.
Those tears are really BOSS!!! Hey, my mouse stopped working…
Well, I always did believe that repetition was the best medicine, so… Love the intro and the sense of humor!
Catholicandlovinit, thanks. Your blog looks interesting too; I just subscribed.
Nice blog. I appreciate your calm understated style and sober demeanor.
Subvet,
I appreciate the understated disclaimer on your blog! Cheers.
Liking your blog a lot. I grew up under Communism, so this is niccccce…..
Thanks, Iwka.