Is Celibacy “Satanic”? Are Elders *Really* Supposed to be Married?

This portion of a larger essay addresses several common attacks that the Protestant Church of Christ hurls towards the Catholic Church of Christ. These CofC attacks are performed for two reasons: justify its own sexual behavior (I promise, this is explained — this is the purpose of the essay), and to undermine the priest.
When people wish to destroy religion, they begin by attacking the priest, because where there is no longer any priest, there is no sacrifice, and where there is no longer any sacrifice there is no religion. -St. John Vianney, patron saint of parish priests
There’s a 2,000 year history of people attacking the priest in an effort to attack Christianity. Some of these attacks are normally the first subjects CofC elders bring up — they were for me! You see, it is expected for people who have literally installed themselves (or who were installed by people who installed themselves) as religious leaders to protest legitimate leaders, and since they submit to no authority they find no problem with privately interpreting the Catholic Church’s Book to somehow argue against the Catholic Church. (For more context consider reading the full post.)
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